My oldest child has always been a funny girl. When she was 2 I thought she had OCD because she used to wake me up 6 times a night to fix her blankets. She needed the seam on the socks to sit on her toes "just so" and she refused to eat if her bowl, cup and spoon didn't all match. I spoke to her pediatrician thinking what in the world is wrong with my child. She was my first one, I didn't know what was "normal" and what was not! He assured me that she was simply a very intellectually aware child that was using these small things to exercise control over her environment. I felt better about that and we allowed her to use some of these idiosyncrasies as a way to sooth her self but kept a reign on them. As she's gotten older some things she has grown out of and new troubles have developed. Every year at the start of school she makes herself physically ill. Whenever there is a big change of any kind no matter the amount of prep work we do to prepare her she can't make the adjustment with out going in to a downward spin. She gets cold sores, stomach aches, she loses sleep and says she feels dizzy. When she started first grade I took her to the doctor because I thought she had a urinary tract infection. She had to use the bathroom before we left for school then she would beg me to stop the car because she had to go again, she would go at school multiple times and again at home. She didn't have an infection she had simply made herself so nervous that her body couldn't keep up.
My biggest concerns with her have been this last year in school. She made herself sick again at the beginning of the year and actually ended up missing 3 days the first week because of stomach trouble. Her doctor recommended that we use Valerian root in small doses as a natural relaxant. It seemed to work pretty well but as soon as something would come up at school (like a teacher got upset with her or she and a friend got in an argument) the anxiety would flare back up. As she has gotten older she exhibits stress by picking at her fingernails or twisting her hair. She has a hard time falling asleep and doesn't like to eat breakfast before school. She's a wonderful student and is exceptionally bright, she has lots of friends and her teachers love her. She is a great big sister, she plays soccer and is the best goalie on the team. My husband and I have done our very best to keep our family life as stable as possible we are a very close family and she feels comfortable at home. She holds her stress and anxiety in at school or in social settings and then as soon as she gets home she dumps it all on us! I keep telling my husband it's because we're good parents! She feels safe at home and knows that no matter what she dishes out we will handle it and continue to love her. Bless her heart.
Our most recent challenge has been a school switch mid year. Because of her enhanced academic needs we tested her to attend a gifted and talented academy in our school district. The initial testing was recommended by her 1st grade teacher and her test scores qualified her but there was no room in the program for 2nd grade. Our son also tested into the program for kindergarten this year and it has been an absolutely wonderful thing for him. Our daughter was very excited about potentially being able to go school there and was disappointed when it didn't work out. I've had the kids at 2 different schools for over half of this year and then a few weeks ago a spot opened up at the academy. We were all so excited, our daughter especially. But when it came time to actually go to school the anxiety set in. It's completely understandable that she would feel overwhelmed and scared to be the new kid mid year. She has done so well the last few weeks trying to keep herself positive and get caught up on the extra work load. She and I have spent LOTS of time talking about her feelings and her fears. The thing that I think has helped the most has been an exercise I've told her to do during the day. I told her that whenever she feels overwhelmed or scared or confused to say a little prayer in her heart and then quickly list 3 things that have gone well that day. She came home the first time she tried it and said she felt happier that day. We also got a Doterra oil called Balance that I rub on her feet before school. I really think it helps keep her relaxed and if nothing else it works as a great placebo!
My girl is awesome. I worry about her little mind and her emotions. I feel so overwhelmed as her mother because I want to give her the skills she needs to deal with these things in a healthy way so that as she gets older she'll manage better and better. I think we'll get there but man I think I need to rub something on my feet too!!!
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