I was born with a bunion. For those of you who don't know a bunion is a bump that forms on the joint of the big toe. It causes all kinds of problems. Your big toe points inward toward your other toes, arthritis forms in the joint and it becomes painful to walk. And yes it is extremely rare for someone to be born with one of these. Usually they develop as you age and can be hereditary. Both of my grandmothers had them. Thanks Grandmas. Because I was born with mine you can imagine how large it was by the time I was a teenager. Gigantic you guys. I had the ugliest foot ever. Plus because of my rapid growth the arthritis was really bad. By the time I was 15 I had almost no cartilage left in my joint. I had a bunionectomy when I was 15 but because my growth plates hadn't closed when I hit my next growth spurt my fused bones did all kinds of weird things. I'll spare you the gory details but from the time I was 15 to the time I was 22 I had 5 foot surgeries.
Despite all of this nonsense I ran track in middle school and my freshman year of high school. I was a sprinter and a long jumper. I really liked to be fast (yes my son comes by it honestly). Unfortunately my surgeries put an end to all of that. It's really ok, I wasn't a prodigy or anything.
Running has become a huge deal in our culture. Couch to 5k, half marathons, Disney marathons, ultra marathons. We run to raise money for cancer, animal rights, we run to rebuild communities. Even our wardrobes are being affected by this trend toward exercise, athleisure, yoga pants, and leggings are worn by people that, far be it for me to judge, don't seem to be running anywhere. Books are written about running and despite clear medical evidence that its actually not good for your body people continue to do it. I jumped on the exercise bandwagon a couple of years ago in the form of group fitness classes. Let me be clear. I hate working out. Hate. It doesn't feel good, I always hurt when I'm done and usually want to throw up either during or after class. But it's supposed to be good for you and stuff so I go. Group fitness is the only way I'm going to get it done. I go in to a class at a designated time, the instructor tells me what to do and for how long to do it and then I go home. It works.
Here's the deal on a thin person going to the gym. Now everybody keep it together. Don't get up in arms. Yes I am a thin person. Thank you genetics. Thin people work out too. And also just because I am thin does not mean I am in shape. So I set goals to lift a certain amount of weight. To be able to make it through a whole step class with out sitting on my step gasping for air. I wanted to be able to touch my toes in yoga with out bending my knees. I felt really good about myself as I started to slowly reach my goals. New Year 2016 a friend of mine mentioned that her New Years Resolution would be to run one race every month. I hadn't run a race since I was 14. It sounded like a good goal. Lots of people I know are runners. They post pictures of themselves on social media with their medals and their race numbers pinned to their shirts. I thought I wanted that to be me. It seemed like a good, accomplishable, quantifiable goal. So I signed up for my first 5k.
The first one actually wasn't too bad. Yeah my foot hurt, but really it hurts all of the time anyway so it wasn't that big of a deal. I ran the whole thing with out stopping and because I had been doing other forms of regular exercise for 2 years I didn't need to train much. The actual run itself wasn't my favorite. I thought it was boring but I had a friend who paced me well and we were able to chat our way through it. The thing that hooked me was crossing that finish line. Man I felt gooooood. I felt strong and accomplished. I had done it. I set a goal and finished it and at the end somebody handed me a medal! I mean who doesn't want a medal?! Plus I got a tshirt. I'll do a lot of things for a cool tshirt.
My first race was in February. March's race was sad as I was jet lagged from a trip to Italy plus recovering from a bout with the flu. But even sweating and staggering my way through that race was made worth it by the finish line. I owned that race. Even though my time sucked and I wanted to lay on the pavement and die I finished it. April's race was my fastest time yet. I realized that old competitive spirit was still alive and well. The term "race" is a bit misleading as well. The run itself is not a true race for most people. And I wasn't actively competing against my fellow runners I was competing against myself. Doing the actual running was just the worst. I hate it. I hate running. I hate hitting the ground over and over again. I hate the monotony and drudgery of it. I have never achieved runners high. I think people are lying about it. And because of my foot problems I run funny so no matter how much I trained and tried to correct my form I got shin splints. After my run in May I'm pretty sure I had a stress fracture which I never told anyone about because my husband would have put his foot down and told me to stop. But it was only May! I couldn't stop! Yeah I'm an idiot. Don't think I don't know that.
In June I signed up for my first 10k. My friend and I got up at 5 am and drove an hour to run 6.5 miles. That was the last race I have run. I made it half a year. Here's what happened with the 10k. Number one, it's too dadgum far. Running for that long was shear torture. My body hated every single second of it. I kept thinking to myself "you are an idiot why are you doing this to yourself?" "this isn't worth it, there are other ways to meet goals". This is not an awesome conversation to be having with yourself around mile 5. Now I truly believe that some people are built to run. Some people's bodies just do it. And more power to you my friends, You run, run like the wind. I'll wave at you as you go by. Reason number two, have you or have you not heard of the runners trots? Yep. It is a real thing my friends. It didn't hit me until after the race thank goodness, in the safety of my own bathroom. I had no idea that this was a potential outcome of deciding to run farther than 4 miles. Once this became apparent to me I took a vow, never ever ever again.
To those of you who love to run I say good on you. Meet those goals, cross those finish lines, earn those medals. To those of you who would like to give it a try I encourage you to do so. Don't take my word that it sucks, you make that discovery on your own. To those of you who have run and joined the ranks of us who have hung up our running shoes I say welcome. We're happy to have you.
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