Wednesday, April 23, 2014

Stace and being positive while potty training

     I have mentioned before that my son Kade is two and a half. To some people that might be a little old to finally start potty training and to others that might be too young. It's hard to say the best age for potty training. I think a lot of it is knowing when your little one is ready. There are some signs like waking up with a dry diaper for consecutive days or maybe starting to go to the bathroom on their own. With Kade, my husband really wanted to start potty training fairly early (about two) but there were a few reasons we held off a bit. I didn't feel he was quite ready and I did not want to start the potty training just to realize it was too soon and stop and try again later. Another reason that we waited a bit was because we traveled quite a bit over the holidays and then Kade and I just went on another trip in March. I was way too scared to start potty training then travel. And then the biggest reason we waited was because I was in the first trimester and exhausted with a ridiculous sense of smell.

      So two weeks ago we finally started. In a way, I think it did help that Jared and I were talking about potty training because we started laying the ground work for it and he had like 3 months of ground work working toward potty training. He probably did not need that much time but I feel like having the ground work really helped.

     What we did for ground work was talk about it when we went to the bathroom, what we were doing, showed him what it looked like, had him listen, all that it was great fun (some sarcasm in that last statement). He even went poo on the toilet a few times before we really started the potty training.

    The way we went about it, when it finally happened, was not using pull ups because I felt like that was to similar to a diaper and didn't think he would catch on and understand very well. So we bought him some underwear and we got ones that we knew he would like. They have Nemo Lightning McQueen, Toy Story and Monsters Inc. His favorites are the Lightning McQueen ones and I swear to you one of them is a lucky pair. I also did not get him a little kid toilet. I just felt like he needed to know and get used to a regular toilet because no where else but home had the little toilet. We just bought him a little stool to help him get on the toilet. I have heard though that some moms like the little kid toilet and get good results from it.

     The first day he had four accidents until he went on the toilet and when he did go there was a lot of cheering and clapping and he got a treat as well. We've been through two bags of Gummie Bears. As the days went on he would sometimes have accidents in the morning and afternoon then he wouldn't the rest of the day. Other days he wouldn't have accidents until the end of the day. I don't know. I would use a pull up when we would go out because I had the fear and as of yet he has not peed in the pull up though I'm sure that day will come. After about 4 days he stopped having accidents. We were shocked. He went almost an entire week and then all of the sudden he is having accidents again.

      A few things I've noticed is because he was doing so well we started relaxing a little on the treat and cheering. We would still cheer but it wasn't as enthusiastic and we started only giving him a treat when he asked. I don't know if this had anything to do with his relapse or if he just stopped feeling like going on the toilet. He has also started to want to go in the bathroom by himself, with the door closed, but I still don't trust him not to just mess around and then claim he went to the bathroom. He also has started to refuse to go if I suggest it or ask him to. He says no or he just whines and whines while sitting on the toilet till I finally take him off of it but then not even ten minutes later he'll go. It's frustrating to say the least. And that's the thing!

     I think the key to potty training is to keep it something positive. My little guy is huge on positive reinforcement, he does very well with it (most of the time). When he started to figure out that when he went to the bathroom he got a treat he would finish his treat and then immediately  go back to the toilet and then start cheering so I would just tell him good job sitting on the potty, because that's what we refer to it as, but (excuse my language) you didn't go pee pee or poo poo so no candy. I always try and tell him 'good job' and 'thank you' and 'good boy' so that he would not sense my frustration or get frustrated. 

     The relapsing. I think relapsing may be the death of me or maybe even him. Like I said he's been doing great and then Sunday he started having accidents again. He has had three today and I do not understand it. I think honestly he just doesn't want to do that right now. But, like I said before, I am trying to keep this a positive thing. It helps no one to get mad and frustrated at them. Both my mom and Steph said that relapses can happen for about six months after starting potty training. Maybe that makes me want to weep. And it makes it a lot harder to stay positive and encouraging but I really think that this approach has helped him. He really is doing well for only two weeks of potty training, he just fooled me with doing so well so early, but I think expecting relapsing will help all through the lovely potty training experience. 

       

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