Being a parent is tough probably the hardest thing I've ever done. I'm not talking about the labor and delivery, which hello no picnic! But truly its the day to day part of parenting that can be so hard. The pressure of raising a human being to become a decent contributing member of society while maintaining a good relationship with each other is harder then it sounds.
I have good children. For the most part they are well behaved and kind individuals. But they are children and can be incredibly frustrating. I went through a period where I felt like to get them to do even the simplest things was just agony. I'm talking about things like putting shoes and a jacket on and not wanting to have to ask 5 times. Or to just sit and eat their food. You know, life sustaining nourishment. I sometimes would want to pull my hair out because of the struggle it was to get them to eat. And it was the food they asked for by the way! I got so frustrated that I brought up from frustrations with my pediatrician and he told me about the beauty of the timer.
My five year old loves Lego's and when he is playing with them he gets in the zone and it can be hard for him to suddenly be pulled from his play and to hurry and get ready for karate or the store. We have had many frustrating experiences where BuddyBoy gets mad from having to stop the fun thing he is doing and I get mad because I want him to get his flipping shoe's on already.
I discovered that warning can go a long way. If I know we need to be somewhere at a set time I set my timer and let him know when I do so that when the timer does go off he knows its time to get ready.
Another way the timer has saved my life is when its time for clean up. If he is dragging his feet or arguing with me about cleaning I set my timer and if he beats the timer he gets a marshmallow, if he doesn't beat the timer, sorry, no marshmallow.
I don't just use the timer for him either I also have used it with my two year old. Though granted I don't use it as much with her because she is still small but because I use it with her brother she does understand a little of what it means. CurlyGirl can give me a hard time when it comes to eating. She hounds me for food and I when I get it for her she takes a bite and then wanders around and plays instead of just eating her food. I kept getting so frustrated by this that I told her if she beat the timer she could have dessert after she ate but if she didn't she still had to eat all of her food but would not get dessert. I explained it several times making sure she understood and, oh, she beat that timer.
We also use the timer for taking turns. I don't know about your kids but when mine sees the other playing with something, like the IPad for example, they must have it! I set the timer so they know that they will get a turn and it helps the person whose turn it is to not feel so territorial.
I try to keep the timer a positive thing because I feel like if its not it can just add to the problems instead of helping.
I hope I don't sound like a Nazi mom and that my children live their lives by a timer. Its just the timer thing has truly saved a lot of frustration and tension in our home. I've even used it at bedtime. When the timer goes off its time to get ready for bed.
Do we still have arguments and frustrations? For sure! But the timer has been something for us that has helped keep a more peaceful home.
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