Steph and Stace's March and April Book Club Book Review

We decided to do a joint book review every month and since we had that AMAZING trip last month we didn’t do March’s book club review so this month we are doing March and April’s together. Yay!

In March we read A Gentleman in Moscow by Amor Towles, best selling author of Rules of Civility. A member of my book club is very interested in Russian history and literature so this was her pick. I’m not going to lie and tell you we were all ecstatic to read it because well quite honestly we are uncultured and it looked boring. I did have the fear! But I was also excited about it because I knew it was going to be different from my regular reading which can be a good thing.   

We all jumped in and within 3 days I had received texts from 3 different people, one of them decided after the first chapter that it wasn’t worth it and decided to be done. The other two moaned via text. It made me nervous.

I started it and was immediately intrigued with it but then as I went on I found it to be quite odd. Beautiful writing style though but just very odd. I wasn’t entirely sure what I was reading.

Count Alexander Rostov- recipient of the Order of St Andrew, member of the Jockey Club, Master of the Hunt- is a “Former Person.” Russia’s new Soviet masters have sentenced him to house arrest in Moscow’s luxurious Metropol hotel, where he lives out his days pairing wine with his meals and dashing around like Eloise, if Eloise were set in a version of Stalinist Russia. Anyway, confined to his hotel the Count passes whole decades making a world out of a hotel and the people in it. A precocious 9 year old, a moody chef, the maitre d’ and others that drift in and out of his sphere.

The book itself was superbly well written. The author eases you along in the story with phrases so poignant you almost don’t realize how emotionally invested you are until the end when you set it down and sigh. I have nine members in my book club, 3 of us didn’t finish it. It was too slow moving and didn’t capture their attention. One of us finished it but thought it just horribly boring. 5 of us loved it and we had an amazing discussion.

It wasn’t exactly an action packed book and I honestly have a hard time knowing for sure how much I liked it. It was slow and very different but it was also moving and beautiful. I don’t think it's one that I would have on hand to recommend to everyone and I honestly don’t see myself reading it again. If the right person came a long it is something I would recommend but carefully just because it is a slower paced book and I like more quick flowing books. I gave it a solid 3 stars which is commendable for how I rate my books.

In April we ventured out of Russia and into Victorian England. The New York Times bestselling author of the Lady Julia Grey mysteries, Deanna Raybourn, has introduced another intrepid adventuress in Veronica Speedwell. The first book in the new series is A Curious Beginning and takes place in London 1887. Veronica has buried her spinster aunt and is now free to resume her world travels in pursuit of natural science and most especially butterflies. She prepares to embark on the journey of a lifetime but fate has other plans when she thwarts her own abduction with the help of an enigmatic German Baron who has ties to her mysterious past.

I loved the Lady Julia Grey series and was very excited to dash off on new adventures with Veronica Speedwell. The book begins very well and launches you into the plot very quickly. However, I was disappointed in the writing. It read flat, and I found Veronica off putting. The story took odd twists and turns, the characters were poorly developed and the author spent so much time telling me how independent and adventurous the heroine was I found myself irritated by her.

I had never read anything by Deanna Raybourn and this was the first book club book that I was super excited about because I love this type of genre. It was written in first person which was a little surprising to me. Most of the books I read are third person and when I do come across a first person perspective it's usually Young Adult. I didn’t dislike Veronica as much as Steph did it actually surprised me how irritated she was with Veronica because normally I’m the one really put off by a lot of female characters. What bothered me the most, like Steph mentioned, was the lack of character development in particular Veronica’s love interest. Raybourn just didn’t give me enough to feel like I really knew the characters.

Here’s how the book club members received it. Two people loved it and started on the second book right away. Three of us found it an easy and enjoyable enough read but found it generally silly. And four of us hated it and spent an hour of book club picking it apart.

I did however read the second one mainly because it counted towards my 100 new books. The third one isn’t out yet. Will I read it? Probably but again only because it's another book I can count towards my hundred. On that topic I'm on book 41 of 100 new books. Yeah baby!

Next months book is The Women in the Castle by Jessica Shattuck. I'm excited to dive in to yet another new author.

Steph's Beefy Cheesy Mac (Gluten Free option)

This recipe was given to me by a friend who got it from another friend. I think those are the best kind, the ones that go through a few people and get perfected before they come to you. My children love love love this meal and you can use gluten free elbow macaroni!  We actually had the neighbor kids over for dinner and they went home and told their mom she needed to get the recipe for their new favorite dinner.

It takes about an hour because it has to simmer for awhile before you can bake it but I almost always have all of the ingredients on hand which is my favorite. We call it Beefy Cheesy Mac and Cheese because really, that's what it is.

Ingredients
1 large onion diced ( I don't use this much onion and I use frozen onion)
1 large canola oil
salt and pepper to taste

2 pounds lean ground beef

1 TBS minced garlic
1 tsp smoked paprika
1 tsp basil
1 1/2 TBS Worchester Sauce

28 oz can whole tomatoes pureed in the can with a hand blender
16 oz box macaroni (don't forget you can use your favorite GF brand)
1 1/2 cup grated cheddar and mozzarella cheeses

Directions
Cook the onion in the oil with a three-fingered pinch of salt until translucent. Add the beef and cook it, breaking it up as you do.

Add another three-fingered pinch of salt or two, paprika and basil. Add the tomatoes, garlic & worchester, bring to a simmer then reduce the heat to low and cook for an hour.

Cook the macaroni in boiling water till its half done. Drain it and stir it into the sauce. Taste it. Add more salt and other seasonings as needed, stir in half the cheese. Transfer to 9x13 dish that has been sprayed with cooking spray. Top with remaining cheese and cook at 350 until cheese is melty and delicious and macaroni is completely cooked, about 15 or 20 minutes.

Sick Mom - Stace

When mom is sick it just throws everything off. The normal routines, housework, just everything. Well I'm sick and my husband is a great father but he doesn't know the children's routines like I do because why would he? I'm there to take care of it. He doesn't know what time to leave in order to have BuddyBoy on time for breakfast at school, he doesn't know which days he has after school activities and which days he doesn't. Normally my husband is also not great about house cleaning. Don't get me wrong, he does do some housework but it usually requires quite a bit of asking to get it done. He actually is the best at bedtime. Bath's, food before bed, bedtime stories, he does it all awesome. But the regular day to day stuff not so much.

Being sick it makes me realize that I do quite a bit. Now I'm not saying I'm super mom or that my house always looks perfect cause to be honest most of the time my house it cluttered with toys but I do pride myself with the fact that my house if never filthy. There is a difference between cluttered and filthy, trust me, I know the difference. This morning I went into the living room and my heart sank a little. I'm sick and my living room is messy and dishes need to be done. Do I ask my husband to do it? He was able to bring his work laptop home so he is trying to work while taking care of CurlyGirl. Do I ask him to clean up later after he's had a chance to work a bit? Do I just leave him alone because he's sacrificing his normal routine and work to help me so that I can rest and take care of myself?

Jared's a very nurturing man. When I'm sick or hurt he wants me to go and close myself in the bedroom so I can feel better. He doesn't feel put out or bugged but just wants me to get better. He also normally gets me a little treat I like to show his love. Today my house is dangerously close to crossing the line from cluttered to filthy. In situations like this it is so hard for me to know what do to. Apart of me feels like, yeah, he's my husband we are partners and I shouldn't feel like I'm putting him out by asking him to help around the house so its not just left for me. The other part of me does feel bad asking him to do all this extra stuff. Basically I just wish he would take it out of my hands and clean without my having to ask him to, that's my perfect world.

Even when a mom is sick and has a wonderful husband or helper a mom still is a mom. I still worry about people being picked up on time or taken to where they need to go. I still worry about them having a good dinner and whether or not they get a bath when they need it. I can't seem to help myself. Once a mom always a mom no matter how old children are, no matter if mom is sick or well moms worry.

Steph and being a mean mom

     Let me just start out by saying, I don't mean to offend anyone. I'll just put that right out there. Remember that for later. I went with my oldest child to a 2 night 3 day school camp recently. It was a science based camp and we fished, inspected the organisms in the nearby lake, studied animal habitats and did various and sundry other activities. I was put in a cabin with a total of 9 ten year old girls and one other adult woman who was also there with her daughter. I did know the other chaperone I was with which was really nice.

    Upon arrival at the camp we were given instructions to have the girls make up their beds, to eat our sack lunch, get to know one another and then meet up with the group in the Education Building. We unloaded our belongings from the bus and headed in to the cabin which was comprised of about 6 bunk beds and two twin beds for the chaperones. I asked the girls to please choose a bunk, to make their beds and stow their bags underneath. Within 5 minutes I had at least 4 of the 9 girls come to tell me that they didn't know how to make their bed. They needed me to do it for them or at least help them. Let me remind you I was at camp with 10 and 11 year old girls. I told them kindly that I expected given a bit of thought and effort they could probably figure it out themselves or just sleep on the bare mattress and left it at that. My fellow chaperone and I decided to have the girls make up some cabin rules. One of the rules we laid out first thing was short showers. There were 2 showers and 11 people that needed to use them. So we asked the girls to be quick so that everyone could get clean and not be held up for 2 hours. Immediately one of the girls let me know that while that rule would work for everyone else, she would need more time. I was informed that she would need to take all of the time she wanted.

   These are  two instances that occurred within 10 minutes of arriving at camp with girls of whom the majority were complete strangers to me. This same attitude of helplessness, selfishness and inability continued for the 3 days we were there together. Now I am not saying these children were horrible spoiled brats (except 2 of them, I am saying that about 2 of them) and I'm not saying that we had a terrible time. I am saying that I was completely shocked by the way these girls responded to a situation in which they were required to show some independence and consideration. I understand this was a very small group I was interacting with and I do not believe that this is an accurate sampling of all 10 and 11 year old girls. I know better than that. However I do wonder how wide spread this issue is.

   When I give my children a task and they complain that it's too hard or that they can't, which is inevitable, how do I know when to give in and help them and when to say dude figure it out? How do you know when you go from being a helpful instructive parent to a coddling enabling parent? Where is that line? How do we know at what age are certain tasks appropriate? How often do we just take care of things because it is easier to just do it ourselves? I fall victim to that one big time.

   I had a conversation with my book club a couple of months ago about what chores all of our children are responsible for. It was extremely interesting to listen to the wide spectrum of parenting tactics and ideas just with 5 different women. Some of us work full time, some of us work part time, some of us are "stay at home moms". We all have to find a way to raise our children, to make our homes function in a manner that is acceptable to us. But I do wonder if we, as a generation of women raising children, are taking more on ourselves because our kids are too busy. Is that what it is? Are we over scheduling our children? They have advanced academics, sports, music lessons and boy scouts so they don't have time to make their beds and do the dishes? Maybe. Is it because of the way we were raised? I was raised to make my bed everyday and to vacuum twice a week and clean the rest of the house on Saturday. My children are held to similar but not quite the same standards. Is it habit? When the kids are little they are physically unable to do these things so mom does it and then as they get older we just continue to do it for them?

   Teaching kids how to work is frustrating. The whining, moaning and yelling just to get a half shot job accomplished just makes me want to lose my mind. I'm not asking you to cut off your arm! I'm asking you to clean the mirror that has your toothpaste spit all over it! And half of the time when they load the dishes I have to go behind them and reload so I can fit more than 3 plates in there. It's not fun, it's not easy and it is certainly much easier and quieter if I just go put their clothes away instead of having to ask them 7 times before it finally gets done. However I do not believe it is better. When we as parents do jobs for our children that they should be doing themselves we are actually hurting them more than we're helping them. It's ok to do something you don't like, it's ok not to be good at something, it's ok to have to redo a job you didn't do well the first time around. It's ok when it takes 30 minutes to get the bathroom clean instead of 10 minutes.

   Camp was an eye opener for me. My poor children wish I had never gone. I came home with a renewed sense of purpose and our chore chart has gotten longer. It's the worst when mom has an epiphany. I want my children to be competent, contributing adults who are independent and can manage their lives well. When they grow up and move out of my house they can tell their therapist how much their mother ruined their lives but by heck they'll know how to load a dishwasher.